MySecretGarden

U.S.A., Washington State. USDA zone 8a. Sunset climate zone 5

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Not An Easy Post



October is breast cancer awareness month.
Reading the piece below, I am thinking of my aunt Lyuba, the mother of five, who lost her battle to breast cancer one year before another type of cancer took my mother from us.
I am thinking of Ruth, my Maid of Honor, Deborah, my neighbor, Jill, my volunteer buddy, and my new blogging friends who are breast cancer survivors.
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Many of us know this letter. It's not a masterpiece, but somehow it touches the heart.

"SISTERS... DON'T FORGET THEM!

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day,
drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother.
As they talked about life, about marriage, about the
responsibilities of life and the obligations of
adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass
thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.
"Don't forget your Sisters," she advised,
swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass.
"They'll be more important as you get older.
No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much
you love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters.
Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them."
"Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women... your
girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too.
"You'll need other women. Women always do."
'What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman thought.
Haven't I just gotten married?
Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman,
for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the
family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'
But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters
and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled
by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really
knew what she was talking about.
As time and nature work their changes
and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life.

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After more than 50 years of living in this world,
here is what I've learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL:

Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break.
Parents die
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end. BUT........


Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how
many miles are between you.
A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have
to walk it by yourself,
the women in your life will be on the valley's rim,
cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you,
intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open
arms at the valley's end.
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk
beside you... Or come in and carry you out.
Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,
daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law,
Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins,
and extended family, all bless our life!
The world wouldn't be the same without women, and
neither would I.


When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no
idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead.
Nor did we know how much we would need each other."

The author is unknown.

48 comments:

  1. Life is very much a journey to the unknown... but very often the route looks awfully familiar, and we can more or less guess what lies beyond the corner... guided by wisdom we pick up along the way. ~bangchik

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  2. Tatyana, wonderful photos! and the words I have seen many times but never tire of them. Thank you for the beautiful message and for honoring your family!

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  3. Tatyana, sisters--your mother--your aunt--I'm feeling their smiles and love for you, and all you do.

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  4. Well now you've done it, you got me teary eyed. What a touching post. Just beautiful.

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  5. That is so pretty. My good friend Lynda has breast and lung cancer. She just had surgery a few days ago.

    My fathers girlfriend is going through treatment for breast cancer now.

    My mother just had a mammogram. They found a small lump that wasn't there last year. She is going in for an ultrasound soon.

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  6. So pretty and definitely a difficult post as you remember your lost ones.

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  7. What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

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  8. Those gorgeous eyes are in the family. October can be a hard month - but women friends help.

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  9. I've never seen that piece before and it was truly beautiful. I'm sorry for your losses.

    FlowerLady

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  10. Lovely post Tatyana and a nice tribute to your aunt and mother.

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  11. Hi Tatyana

    Such a difficult post for you to write and publish. So well put.

    Rob

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  12. Dear Tatyana, you have touched our hearts with your moving post. We all know someone who has had to do battle against this dreaded life taking disease. May the cure be found. And all the sisters will rejoice as one.
    Frances

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  13. Very nice post...sad but sweet;-) Bitter-sweet, is a better word, perhaps? Life is certainly a mystery.

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  14. So beautiful. Thank you for sharing the pictures and heartfelt words.

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  15. A lovely and haunting post.

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  16. Beautiful post. Thank you for the reminder. I've had the scare of finding breast lumps three different times. All required surgery, but I'm so thankful they were all benign.
    I have a friend who was diagnosed this year.

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  17. Omigod you had me weeping like a BABY!
    The photo of your Mother, Father, and Aunt is beautiful and haunting - there is something extra penetrating in your Mother's eyes; I'm sure she was something else. I am sorry for her loss, and the loss of your Aunt.
    Beautiful words, beautiful thoughts, and so very true. I never had sisters, but your post brought the truth home - I have a WEALTH of sisters. Thank you for the gift of this post, Tatyana!
    Germi

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  18. Тань, спасибо за пост!!! Он грустный но в тое время жизнеутверждающий и призывающий к борьбе и жизни что бы не случилось!!!
    СПасибо за фотографии!)

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  19. Beautiful words and so true. Sorry about your losses! You made me teary eyed and thinking of the ones I've lost. My mum (malignt melanom) and all of her six sisters (most of them breast cancer) and my father three months ago. Life's hard sometimes and then we sure need our sisters. But there's also hope, two of my cousins are survivors of breast cancer and my doughters have friends who seems to be survivors to, we sure hope they will.

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  20. A great pink post and a lovely tribute to all the sisters.

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  21. Hello Tatyana, very heartfelt post with so, so very beautiful images.
    Have a wonderful day
    Cariños
    Maria Cecilia

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  22. A beautiful and touching post, Tatyana! Your life has certainly been touched by this dreaded disease; I hope everyone who reads this takes the time to schedule their yearly mammogram--I had mine last week.

    My best friend and I took time last night to meet for coffee--I think we talked nonstop for an hour and a half:) Best friends for 50 years now, she is such an important part of my life. And last week I went to a funny musical with a group of other long-time friends. "Sisters" are always there for you when you need them.

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  23. Tatyana,
    A very poignant post and very touching, as we all have been affected by this tragic disease, either by someone we know, or ourselves.
    Thanks for sharing the photos and inspiring prose.
    Rosey

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  24. Cancer effects so many people's lives. I lost my own sister to Cancer 10 years ago, and was diagnosed myself a year later. My mum and dad have both had it, and my husband's aunt has too. Luckily there are so many survivors these days. The wonder of modern medicine.

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  25. It haunts me.....My grandmother had satge 2 breast cancer, my aunt had stage 4 breast cancer, and my mother had stage 1 breast cancer. 3 people in my immediate family! My mother was the ONLY one to have a masectomy. When she did, they found a very rare, extremely aggressice type of breast cancer growing. It scared me beyond words. I have 3 other aunts, and several female cousins...and it is scary. I sometimes feel like its almost a waiting game.....

    I have been getting mammograms since I was 25. Normally this is not the case, but insurance gladly will pay for it at that age given my history. Our doctors have wanted all of us to get tested to see if we have the "gene". Well...I have qualmsd with that because do you really want to know????? I have also discussed with my doctor about having surgery to prevent it...possibly. Insurance will pay for you to have your breast tissue removed, and replaced with implants IF you have had 3 + people in your immediate family with breast cancer. I suppose they see that as a preventative method, versus having to possibly pay for you to go through treatments. It is a hard decision, and it is something to think about. I think that maybe by the time I am 35, maybe 40 I will probably have this done.

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  26. This is a beautiful and touching post about a most dreaded topic - the big C. It reminds us to cherish our love ones and never wait until tomorrow what we can do today.

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  27. Thank you for the touching reminder. It made me appreciate what I have so much more. Life is truly unpredictable.

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  28. Sorry for your loss. Your not alone.
    Handsome family.

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  29. I am thankful for my sisters; two by birth, many by choice. I love them all.

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  30. This was a powerful, beautiful and moving post. Your family is beautiful as are you. Very much so.

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  31. A very meaningful post! you made me sit back and reflect.

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  32. Oh so true! I am lucky to have several close sisters, although none by birth or blood. I love them and have no idea what I would do without them...thanks for the reminder to always hold them dear!

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  33. Hmmmm... I don't have any sisters, so I've had to make great friends instead! And brothers are nice too, in fact anyone who will always be there for you is a great thing to have.

    And your father was quite handsome by the way.

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  34. Thank you, Tatiana for your post on my Blog, Love your blog. I am truly sorry for your families loss. I will keep posting. Your pictures make my heart sing

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  35. Beautiful post.....lovely photos & sentiment.

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  36. Tatyana, I am so sorry about your mom and aunt... I too lost my mother to breast cancer. This is a very moving post! Lovely. Carol

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  37. This is a lovely post from your heart, and a great photo of your parents and aunt.
    How sad to lose your mom and aunt.
    You have given me pause to think about my sister and the other women friends I have, and to hold them all close.

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  38. Our mum had a benign breast lump removed, but she was taken by another kind of cancer only a few years later when she was my age, 57. I really appreciate now how young she was. And I also appreciate my own beloved sister and my great sisterhood of friends. A timely post, and beautifully illustrated. I love the picture of your good-looking family.

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  39. It may have been a difficult post to write, but you did it well. I'm sorry about the losses of your mother and aunt. I love that photo of them with your dad. Of course the other photos are wonderful, as well.

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  40. Beautiful post! Very very touching and heart warming..!Wonderful tribute.

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  41. Very moving post Tatyana. Sisters are amazing and to watch them rally around another is like watching a miracle happen before your eyes.

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  42. Beautifully written Tatyana and I'm sure it was hard to write, but thank you.

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  43. thanks tatyana! a timely reminder of how fleeting everything is...i just broke my arm last wee with mr mouse out of town. my friens have been great!

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  44. Very, very nice post. I certainly value my women friends.

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  45. A beautiful post that must have been difficult to write. I lost my father to cancer and understand the terrible pain this awful disease causes.

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  46. Tatyana, your beautiful post touches us all. I lost my own beloved mother to lymphoma before she turned 60, and no day passes that I don't miss her, and everyone else I've loved and lost to this dread complex of diseases. But what I loved most about the post is that fabulous family portrait! It seems like a novel waiting to be written...

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  47. I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom and aunt to this awful disease.

    Thank you for this beautiful post Tatyana, and for sharing the photo of your beautiful family.

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  48. Привет, сестричка! Будь! Будь с нами! Будь счастлива!

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